shaking depression

I haven't been practicing Yoga, haven't been meditating much for days. My son Eldar has been ill which has been my excuse for not going to my wife Lucia's classes. This isn't much of an excuse as I could have sent Eldar to the neighbors and paid them. He loves them and the benefit would have well been worth the expense.

To top this off, I haven't been working effectively. When I sit down at the computer my tendency has been to idle away at meaningless things, when there is a stack of stuff I could/should be doing.

But meditation and Yoga still have their place among my top priorities. I will meditate tomorrow morning, which is great. Then - with luck and determination and please wish me both - I will go to Lucia's Yoga lesson this Thursday.

So many things I would love to do. Among them is reading and commenting on Steven Lovy's new screenplay. I hung out with Steven this past weekend and wanted to run with him Sunday but didn't dare as Lucia was so upset with me for hanging out with him and not me on Saturday even though she was out with her girlfriends. After I massaged her and listened to her gripe for an hour late that night she loosened up. Sunday we went to church and out to lunch and saw the Nutcracker ballet performed that evening. Overall impressive performance. Great sets and great dancing. Choreography wasn't great. Most impressive stuff was early on and the story did not present itself as it could have. And the music was recorded rather than with a live orchestra. But this was the cheap performance despite its USD $18.00 per head ticket price including 7-year-old Eldar.

I've been worrying about money which is silly because we have some at the moment with more on the way. Bills to pay, too. And it's unclear when we'll be getting more. But life has always been uncertain. Better to live it. I could do well to plan for the holidays.