Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Reagan Clone Bid To Enter '08 Race Causing Stir

The 36-year-old clone of former President and Hollywood actor Ronald Wilson Reagan has stirred controversy by announcing his intention to enter the 2008 race for President of the United States. Some issues raising complaints from Democrats and Republicans alike include the alleged foreign birth of the Reagan clone and the fact that the original Ronald Reagan served the maximum two terms as President allowed by the US constitution.

"How can he be serious?" asked a flabbergasted former President Bill Clinton. "Eight years is all anyone gets in this office since the time of Truman. It's all I got, despite my high popularity, and it's all he should get, clone or otherwise. Just another blatant example of attempted Republican rule-bending."

Republican presidential hopeful and former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney questioned the clone's right to run on the grounds that he was conceived and incubated in a Swiss laboratory and therefore does not meet the constitutional requirement to be born in the US in order to run for the country's highest office.

"Governor Romney's complaint simply holds no water," said Sir Ian Wilmut, the English scientist who led the team that produced the Reagan clone as well as the renowned clone of Dolly the sheep. "He may have had his conception and gestation abroad, but we flew him in his incubator to Hollywood before the end of what would be the final term of pregancy, where he was released as a plump and happy all-American baby boy."

Constitutional issues aside, Democratic National Committee budget director Carl Chidlow questioned whether the US would benefit from "cloned policies" from the 1980s that did little back then other than drive a wedge between the upper class and everyone else and solidify a permanent minority underclass. "The is the last thing we need today." Chidlow said.

Asked why he wished to enter the race as an independent, rather than as a Republican, the Reagan clone - standing aside a clone of the famous Black Beauty race horse - had this to say.

"Well, I look across the American landscape and I see a great nation in need of a deep breath of fresh hair. This breath should be inhaled by all Americans, regardless of politics, race, creed or Judeo-Christian denomination."


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